I never chose to do this. I\u2019m not one of those great people who seeks out ways to help others. I wish I were that person, but I\u2019m not. My life revolves around my family and my church. I adore other people\u2019s children as long as they don\u2019t live with me. I\u2019m most comfortable with my own children, and they usually make me proud. In fact, friends and neighbors tell me I\u2019m spoiled by them. That\u2019s why this was all so hard for me to swallow, but we did it anyway. Two and half years ago, we welcomed a teenaged stranger into our home, my husband with joy and seriousness, I with trepidation. But we both knew we had to take on this responsibility. The circumstances left us with no real option but doing what we knew was right.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It would be nice if I could say that this young woman changed my mind about foster parenting, that she has been a tremendous blessing to me and that I received more from having her than she has from being here. That is what the truly good people say, isn\u2019t it? That it\u2019s all more than worth it? I think of that book and movie The Blind Side<\/em>?: \u201cYou\u2019re changing that boy\u2019s life.\u201d \u201cNo, he\u2019s changing mine.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n I just can\u2019t say that because I\u2019m not the selfless person I want to be. Actually, maybe I can say that. This entire experience has certainly changed my life. For instance, it has brought many questions to my mind that had never ocurred to me before. Why is it necessary to place cleaning supplies and medications at least five feet off the ground when my foster child is taller than five feet? How is it logical that I am allowed to have an open wine rack on the floor in the dining room but I can\u2019t can\u2019t have Windex in the kitchen cabinet? What do they want me to teach this child? Why do they offer us free stuff we don\u2019t need but refuse to pay for braces? Why do we need a visit from the social worker every month and a visit from the psychologist every week? Why can\u2019t I talk to her? Why doesn\u2019t she appreciate us? Who is she? Yes, my life has changed. My bank account has changed. Everything has changed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I must admit, however, that the experience hasn\u2019t been as horrific as I\u2019d expected. She really is a good kid, and I\u2019m blessed that her difficulties are few and her strengths are many. She finally brought up her grades, landed a part-time job, and got her driver\u2019s license. She has friends, and has not even once come home intoxicated or past curfew. She doesn\u2019t smoke or use bad language or dress inappropriately. While the two of us may never be completely comfortable with each other, I am proud of her and she is maturing into a wonderful woman.<\/p>\n\n\n\n We have her only a few months more, and we need to prepare her for adult life, for college and roommates. She would like to stay here forever and not have to grow up, but the change is inevitable. Somehow, I know that if I push just the right amount, she will proceed in the right direction, overcome her fears, and have a great life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Will I ever be a foster parent again? Probably not; maybe so. Either way, my reluctance is fading, I\u2019m surviving, and I\u2019m glad I was forced to do the right thing because I probably wouldn\u2019t have done it on my own.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I never chose to do this. I\u2019m not one of those great people who seeks out ways to help others. I wish I were that person, but I\u2019m not. My life revolves around my family and my church. I adore other people\u2019s children as long as they don\u2019t live with me. I\u2019m most comfortable with my […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"default","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[39],"tags":[40],"class_list":["post-347","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-foster-parenting","tag-foster-parenting"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/delynwagenknecht.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/347","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/delynwagenknecht.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/delynwagenknecht.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/delynwagenknecht.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/delynwagenknecht.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=347"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/delynwagenknecht.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/347\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":348,"href":"https:\/\/delynwagenknecht.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/347\/revisions\/348"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/delynwagenknecht.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=347"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/delynwagenknecht.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=347"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/delynwagenknecht.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=347"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}